Dreidels and Christmas Lights

“Mommy, does Jenny play dreidel too?” my daughter asks me one day in anticipation of a play date. She has been learning about Chanukah in her temple pre-school.

“No,” I answer. “Jenny doesn’t know how to play dreidel because she doesn’t celebrate Chanukah.”

My daughter shoots me a quizzical look. Her little brow furrows and she seems confused.

“Not everyone celebrates the same holidays,” I explain weakly.

She frowns, and I see that her confusion is turning to sadness. In her mind, Chanukah is filled with chocolate and presents and singing and lighting the candles; of course she wants her friends to experience the same joys.

I feel like I am not doing a great job at explaining different religions, so I continue “even though not everyone celebrates the same holidays, we can still celebrate together.” My daughter smiles. This seems to satisfy her for now.

Later that day, we invite Jenny and her sister over for a Chanukah party playdate the following week. On the day of the party, I cook latkes and play Chanukah music. The girls devour the gelt, their little smiling faces covered in chocolate. Each time I describe another tradition to our friends, my daughter nods her head.

“Every night we add another candle,” I explain while placing the candles into the menorah. My daughter seems happy that she was able to share this holiday with her friends.

The next morning, she has a different question.

“Mommy, when are we putting up our Christmas lights?”

I pause.

For me, Christmas has always been a bit of an enigma, as I am Jewish. I never truly experienced the holiday until I began celebrating it with my husband and his family. We have never put up Christmas lights before, mainly because it was something that I never fully understood and thus was not comfortable with.

I am not sure how to answer my daughter’s question. The concept of religion is difficult to explain to a two-year-old. Further, how can I explain that I, her mother who is part of an interfaith marriage, is simply not sure about how I feel about Christmas lights?

“Why do you want Christmas lights?” I ask her. I expect her to make a comment about our neighbors’ lights or Santa, but she doesn’t. Instead she simply answers that they are pretty.

There is no agenda attached to her request. She is not putting Christmas above Chanukah or renouncing Judaism. She simply wants our house to sparkle. The following weekend, we buy Christmas lights put them up. My daughter is thrilled.

She continues to ask questions, about both Chanukah and Christmas. These questions are not easy ones, and I sometimes am not sure if I am answering them the best way. But each time, I remind her of what I know to be true: many people celebrate different holidays, but the best part of Chanukah and Christmas is being able to celebrate with others.

After all, this is what the holidays are about: excitement, love, family and friends. Those are the things that we are celebrating this year in our lit up house.