This blog post initially appeared on elephant journal and is republished here with permission. Click here for the original link.
As a stay at home mom to my 20-month-old daughter, Emma, my days are filled with beautiful moments.
Sometimes she comes to me with her lips out, asking me for a kiss. She snuggles into my chest, burying her head into my shoulder. She talks nonstop, telling me what everything is, so I don’t miss a thing. Her little voice calls out items as she sees them: puppy, balloon, shoes, Elmo, slide.
Sometimes I try to capture these moments, without much success. I pull out my iPhone and do my best to convince her to look at the camera.
“Cheese!” she yells out, while running so quickly that when I take the photo, she is just a blur.
It makes me laugh, the way that she knows to smile for the camera, but won’t stand still long enough for me to actually get a decent picture of her.
There are the hard days when I want to pull out my hair out: when food is smushed into the living room carpet and the toys are beeping and Emma is wailing about Elmo.
Then, in the middle of the chaos, she will start dancing with a funny face and I simply sink to the floor and start laughing.
Sometimes, she disappears into the bedroom and comes out with my yoga mat. Then she promptly lays it out and starts exercising. “One, two, five,” she counts, while moving her legs and rolling over.
She beckons me to come join her.
So I get down on the mat with her and do abs, while trying to teach her the proper way to count. As I lay there on my yoga mat, I can’t help but think how I wish I could capture this moment.
These moments are fleeting, yet incredibly magical, funny and beautiful. I can’t blink for fear of it being over.
A few months ago, I tried something new. When Emma and I are snuggling on the bed or laughing or dancing, I pretend to take a picture. “Snap!” I said, while clicking my finger down on an imaginary camera.
I love when my daughter snuggles her stuffed animals and tries to feed them.
“Snap.”
She empties out my closet, dropping each item into the hamper.
“Snap.”
I try to leave the room at night, and she calls “mama”, so I bend down to see her in the crib and she kisses me through the slats.
“Mwa!”
she says and blows me more kisses as I gently leave the room.
“Snap, snap, snap.”
She dances around when she hears a song she loves.
“Snap!”
I find myself dancing with her, incredibly grateful.
I wish I could hold onto these beautiful, silly moments before they slip away. I understand now that I can’t really capture them.
Instead, I am reminded of our constant impermanence.
These days with Emma are fleeting; she is growing and changing in front of my eyes.
There is nothing for me to grasp onto.
I can try to take pictures with my iPhone, but by the time I look at the photo, the moment is over.
On those rare occasions that I manage to get a great photo, I know that it can’t capture the scent of her baby hair or the mischievous glint in her eyes.
I chose instead to use my imaginary camera.
“Snap,”
I say softly as we dance around the living room to the Frozen soundtrack and make silly faces. Emma’s giggles fill the room and I can feel my grateful heart bursting with joy.
In these moments, I don’t even bother with my iPhone.
There is no camera in the world that could truly capture these beautiful, magical moments anyway.
What a beautiful article! Treasure these toddler days and store them in your memory box for the future.
aw, thank you! I definitely do treasure them… 🙂
Nice share! My daughter will be 20 soon and she still comes to my room crawls in my bed for talk time. Those moments are priceless but fleeting indeed 🙂
thank you! I am 36 and still climb into my mom’s bed. 🙂 glad you have such special time with your daughter!
She’s beautiful. Her happiness and spirit is a true testimony to what a good mom you are. Enter the Zen mindset. Keep enjoying each moment. Those memories, you will find I’m sure, are indelible.
They are indeed. Thanks for stopping by!
Great article! I’m so glad that, as a young mom, you realize how fleeting these moments are. I am now the mom of two adult children and have the pleasure of watching my grandchildren ages 7, 4, and 18 months everyday! Like you we have the fun times and the times when I can’t wait for my daughter to get home to take them back, but I’m so glad and thankful that I can be such a big part of their childhood! I wouldn’t trade it for the world!!
These early years are indeed precious! My parents and in laws are very involved with my daughter and it is a huge blessing.
Have you ever heard the song ‘Slipping Through My Fingers’ by Abba? This post reminded me instantly of that – a song about realising that these precious moments are fleeting and will one day be gone.
Don’t get frustrated that you are not taking enough photos – sometimes the physical act of taking the photo can get in the way of enjoying the moment for what it is. Enjoy your daughter, they really do grow up fast!
i havent heard that song, but will check it out! i try to enjoy every single second as best i can…
Here’s a link to the lyrics – although the song is written about a school aged girl, I think it will resonate with you. http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/abba/slippingthroughmyfingers.html.
The song can be found on YouTube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LNaNVuWes_U&list=RDLNaNVuWes_U#t=6 It’s a beautiful, if melancholy song.
thanks angie!
” Sometimes I try to capture these moments,”…I think you did exactly that with this post. I truly felt you loving her and creating memories to cherish. My children are now adults…the time does pass, it passes into now always. Thanks for sharing!
thanks for stopping by! and you are totally right that this post captures all of those moments that i cant get photos of. 🙂
I don’t have any children but I can relate to this post with my twin nephews. I live 3000 miles away and it’s hard to capture all the moments I want to with the short time I spend with them. Now that they are 5, they enjoy the technology and the response I get is “Let me see!” after snapping a photo. The memories we hold deep in our heart is capturing the moments also!
indeed they do… 🙂 our hearts can hold so much.
I love this! What a special reminder to all that you can loose moments by trying to capture them, just be in the moment, enjoy it and savor it. Snap. Perfect!
thank you! i do savor those moments…. i feel very lucky.